I Hate It Here, But You Are Here, And I Love You

I Hate It Here, But You Are Here, And I Love You

and so it became my foreign afterworld
my man-made brand new hell
stuck in this bloodied cell
one hundred eyes all fixed on the escape plan
and unwashed skin is not a problem 
when you’re all in the same position

i’m living a life in vain
by trying to kill all this pain

with things like amphetamines 
and self-induced bad dreams
i’m living the biggest lie
but i see no shame
in trying to catch the rain

and with the swinging wrecking ball and the emptiness
comes the losing streak and the drunken nights
all under these northern lights
you can pretend that you’re doing fine, believe it if it helps
but sooner or later you’ll be worn-out and thin
all alone with that stone cold feeling

i’m living a life in vain
by trying to kill all this pain

with things like amphetamines 
and self-induced bad dreams
i’m living the biggest lie
but i see no shame
in trying to catch the rain

this place i’m in 
is pulling and pulling me further within
now i’m drinking again and the room is beginning to spin
my hair’s coming out
the tide’s coming in
and all this self doubt 
well it’s wearing me thin
now i’m looking in the mirror
and all i can see 
is hole where my heart used to be 
and you can see right through
see right through
see right through

i hate it here, but you are here, and i love you

- Elijah James